I’m hoping to sell this idea for an animated show to CNN or Fox News, who desperately need something to boost their sagging demographics.

The plot line revolves around 2 main figures…A cartoon rendition of retired General William Boykin and a cartoon rendition of Jesus as a stand-up comic.

The main thrust of the idea is that each show will have an animated “General Boing Boing”, as he’ll be known, who will appear hilariously loaded down with medals and tottering under the weight of his right wing bigotry, making subversive, anti-government, fascist statements and featuring Jesus as a stand-up comic who gives it back to him like an avenging Don Rickles.

Here are a few examples of the General’s actual quotes some while still on active duty. Did we dodge a bullet or what?

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General: “The Jews are the cause of the problems in the World,”

Jesus: “The last time I saw a face like that it had a hook in it!”

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General Boing Boing: “Muslims worship an idol, not a real God.”

Jesus: “If your brain was chocolate it would be an M&M”

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General Boing Boing: “George W. Bush was appointed by God”

Jesus: “ I was thinking about you all day. I was at the fertilizer factory!”

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General Boing Boing: “The first thing that has to be done is to form a constabulary force that can control the population.”

Jesus: “ I’ve seen people like you before but I had to pay Admission!”

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General Boing Boing: “They’re after us because we’re a Christian Nation”

Jesus: “I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?”

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General Boing Boing:  “I believe the sword Jesus will be carrying will be an AR-15.”

Jesus: “If this is the only thought that crossed your mind, it must’ve been a lonely journey!”

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Kids will love that we plan to produce action figures of “General Boing Boing”, who’s tiny head will explode after every Jesus put down line.

Plus the “GBB & J Lunch Boxes” which will have only enough room for a loaf of rye bread and a fish.

We also plan a series of comedy books called “The Jesus False Profit Joke Books” Volumes 1 through 4.

In volume 2 when “Boing Boing” says this: “We are on the verge of a complete Marxist take over.”

Jesus comes back with:” Is that your real face or are you auditioning for Godzilla?”

Or when in volume 3 “Boing Boing” rants on with: “When the Lord comes back he’ll be a warrior in blood soaked robes carrying a sword.”

Jesus says: “Sorry I don’t have my moron filter on today!”

** NOTE ALL THE GENERALS COMMENTS ARE REAL

** NOTE ALL OF THE JOKES ARE ALSO REAL.

***Jesus remains the image of a wonderful and peaceful man from the New Testament that millions of people believe is the Son of God, and who may very well be.

He also may have had a sense of humor, which always helps when things get so damn serious that they want to crucify you.

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